Flushing the flush

I gave up on the salt water flush. If I used only a fraction of the salt it calls for I could barely get it all down, and that amount of salt had no effect.

Somehow I managed to regain all the weight I lost from just two days of eating, and I wasn't even bingeing or anything. Back to a liquid diet today, with one bottle of the Master Cleanse lemonade and some wine and that's it.

I bought healthy food at the grocery store this past weekend. I'll eat that a little later in the week. I bought veggies and nonfat plain Greek yogurt.

I last ate about midnight last night, give or take. Let's see how long I can last this time.  :)

Master Cleanse

I tried the salt water flush this morning. After one sip I knew I would throw up if I drank anymore. Ick! My roommate suggested cutting back on the salt until I could drink it and not throw up. So I'll give that a shot tomorrow. The recipe calls for two heaping teaspoons. Maybe if I try 1/4 teaspoon level I could get it down.

I had some food I needed to eat before it went bad, so that's what I ate today. I will then start the Master Cleanse tomorrow. The lemonade looks milky with the whey protein added, but that will keep me from losing muscle mass. The taste is okay. Opened the cayenne capsules and put the pepper directly in the drink and it actually improves the taste, but it burns my throat going down.

8 Tips When You're Weak

When you’re feeling weak…

1. Pinch your thigh and see how you don’t need food, because you should be eating your own flesh all away from the inside first, before you are deserving of actual legitimate food.

2. Go on the internet. You can research dieting or whatever, or you can read the classics, or some of the aforementioned literature. Or you can do homework, or write letters, but the beauty of it is, since no food or drink is allowed, you’ll have no choice but to abstain from a meal.

3. Buy some baby teething gel and rub it on your tongue, to numb your taste buds.

4. If you’re even considering eating, just hold your breath and count to 100. Chances are that you’ll convince yourself not to eat whatever it is you’re craving in that time.

5. The scent of coffee has been proven to lessen ones appetite.

6. If you’re feeling dangerous, plan out the next few hours so that you’re occupied for every single minute. Write a list of things to do for every 15 minutes. ex.) exercise, surf the internet, email your friends, clean a room, read a book.

7. Let perfume replace chocolate. Every time you have a craving, or pass a bakery, sniff some Chanel no. 5. Apply it to a tissue and carry it with you. Smell has a powerful effect on appetite.

8. Clean something. Cleaning something dirty can make you lose your appetite. The toilet, the litter box, under the kitchen sink, scrubbing out the garbage bin, anything grimy or smelly. The mess, along with the smell of the cleaner, can put you off food for a while.

Ana 10 Commandments

1. If you aren't thin you aren't attractive.
2. Being thin is more important than being healthy.
3. You must buy clothes, cut your hair, take laxatives, starve yourself, do anything to make yourself look thinner.
4. Thou shall not eat without feeling guilty.
5. Thou shall not eat fattening food without punishing oneself afterwards.
6. Thou shall count calories and restrict intake accordingly.
7. What the scale says is the most important thing.
8. Losing weight is good/gaining weight is bad.
9. You can never EVER be too thin.
10. Being thin and not eating are signs of true will power and success.

No longer a slave to my stomach

I love having control over my stomach. I love when it screams at my brain to eat, and I don't. I love how it doesn't rule me anymore, how I'm no longer its slave, always looking for my next food fix. I'm not my stomach's bitch anymore; it's my bitch!

The Ana University "class" I'm taking on fasting says I have to fast three days over the next week. Not sure which 3 days that should be. I have food that needs to be eaten before it goes bad, but I love starving.  :-p

I'm also taking Hiding and Calorie Burning.

Today is day 2 of liquid fasting to punish myself for having to eat on Saturday. Damn hypoglycemia. Maybe I'll eat tonight when I get home from work since that would be 48 hours and then maybe eat tomorrow and fast Wednesday?

All this fasting I've been doing is dropping my metabolism so I need to eat to get it back up.

4 1/2 days

I made it 4 1/2 days. I finally gave in yesterday (I could tell my blood sugar was low) and ate and ate and ate. Gained 5 lbs. of water weight and came in at 204 today, which I'm okay with. That's still 6 pounds lower than when I started. I'm 200 lbs. I don't need food. I must stop eating and keep my stomach empty. Restarting liquid fasting today.

Only calories from wine

So...it's officially been 3 days of my only calories coming from wine and no food. Woot! Go me. I've lost a lot of water weight and I'm afraid to eat, but I am soooo hungry!

I got all excited today when Brad said that my order from Amazon arrived. As soon as I picked up the box I knew it was too light to be the lemonade diet kit. Sure enough. I opened the box and it was just the hand juicer I ordered. So I'm still waiting on the "kit" I ordered with the maple syrup, cayenne, sea salt, and tea.

Hmmm....just checked Amazon. My kit is in Illinois. No tracking info available on the water bottle. I went to Walmart today and bought a gallon jug for the lemonade (two days' worth), plus another 32 oz. water bottle, since I need to drink two per day. I'll buy lemons tomorrow.

Getting better

My stomach seems to be settling down and getting used to being empty. I'm not as desperate for food today.

I've had some little victories. I went to McDonald's (again) and only got a diet sweet tea. I had a lady downstairs at work try to foist homemade cake on me, but I declined. Then a guy upstairs had a birthday with both chocolate and red velvet cake. I had none.

I'm going to do this fast (just drinking some wine to wind down after work) for as long as I can. It will force my body to burn fat. So far 66 hours since I last ate food, and that was just 8 thin slices of lunchmeat (120 calories).

Almost halfway

Midnight will be 50 hours and halfway to my goal. I *must* stay strong.

Came across this today on a forum:

YOUR STOMACH ISN'T GROWLING, IT'S APPLAUDING!

Mine's been growling all day, but it's just applauding my control.  :)

And also this:

"There's a hidden sweetness in the stomach's emptiness" - Rumi

And some pro-ana quotes from the net.

You don't NEED food! 
You will be fat if you eat today. Put it off just one more day.
Can't is a word used when you don't want to.
Hunger is your friend and it won't betray you like food.
God gave us control. Some of us know how to use it, others don't... 
DON'T eat, do you want to stay FAT?!?
Eating is for the weak. Starve for self-control; self-control makes you strong.
Starving is not pain, it's the cure.
Starving is an example of excellent will power.

Empty

Stomach is still empty. I went to mid-week mass at the Anglican church and ate the wafer and had a sip of wine. I'm not going to count one tiny wafer. Then I stopped at McDonald's and got a diet sweet tea. Yummy!

The hunger pangs are starting to get to me and it's only been around 40 hours so far. I must do better and not give in to my stomach. It's not master of me; I'm master of it and I WILL NOT EAT.

For breakfast this morning I just had black coffee and I got plenty of exercise: walked 1/2 mile to the train, 1/2 mile from the train to church, and then 1/2 mile back to the train. Then 1.5 miles from the train to work.

I'm down 6 lbs! I know it's just water weight, but I'll take it.

Fat Girl Starving

Hello. I'm Fat Girl. I will do anything to lose weight. I'm currently fasting, only allowing myself alcoholic drinks. I just ordered the Master Cleanse lemonade diet. That should be here in about a week. I think I may tweak it and add some plain protein powder to the lemonade because protein is essential. Later this week I will go out and buy organic lemons. In the meantime, I am on a 100 hour fast. I am allowed to drink alcoholic drinks and low-caloric drinks like Diet Coke and Crystal Light.

Today is Tuesday. I last ate a small amount of lunchmeat Monday night. 100 hours from then would be Saturday morning at 4 a.m. So I can't eat until then. Fuck my body. It needs to be beaten into submission and not eating will force it to burn fat.

My stomach is empty and I do so enjoy that feeling!